Tips from the Road

The challenge: four months of climbing and camping on the road in a tiny hatchback that makes a van look like a spacious loft apartment. Not possible you say? Think again. With a few simple tips you can make any trip more comfortable and affordable.
Note: Tips marked with * may not conform to everyone’s moral ideals.

Things to take:
Baby Wipes: Even the manliest of men can admit that these come in handy when it’s been a week without a shower and you need to wipe the grime off. Climbers will also appreciate the ability to wipe sunscreen and bug repellant off their hands before handling ropes and gear.
Kettle: A small electric kettle can be plugged in anywhere you can find an outlet, campgrounds, bathrooms, rest stops. Save fuel when boiling water for cleaning, drinking or cooking.
Frying pan: How many one-pot meals can a climber eat before a climber kills their partner and roasts them over an open fire?
Ramen: ramen can be bought for as cheap as 10 cents a package. Drain the liquid and fry it up with spices for a different flavor and texture. To save fuel, simply place ramen and water in a metal pot with lid and leave it in the sun to cook.
Spices: Buy three or four of your favorite spices in bulk before you leave and add to ramen, sauces, meats, pasta, etc.
Light colored bed sheet: Forget those fancy sun shields, it takes two minutes to rig a sheet around your car to cover most of the windows and keep your car much cooler all day in hot climates. Also, allow the sheet to get dirty and spread it over your belongings along with some fast food wrappers, thus concealing expensive gear and making it less of a target for thieves.
Collapsible water jug: Many areas do not have clean water available and you will need your own supply. When not being used, these fold down to almost nothing. A cheap alternative is to reuse the bladder from a large box of wine; the only problem is that you’ll have to ‘dispose’ of the wine before you can use it.
Solar shower: This item may seem excessive, but it’s like cocaine… you’ll be hooked after your first time using.

Things to do:
Hot Nalgene trick: If you find yourself shivering through the night even though you’re in a -30 degree bag, then fill a Nalgene bottle with boiling water and throw it down at your feet for the night. It will never cool down below your body and saves the chore of melting water in the morning when winter camping.
Dashboard cooking: This tip works best in hotter climates. The idea here is to purchase some sort of cheap microwaveable fat-filled junk and leave it sitting on your car dashboard for a few hours. If done in the morning you’ll have a nice warm meal to eat by noon. It’s not like you have anything better to do while cruising down the highway.
Get memberships*: You can save money at any American grocery store by signing up for their membership cards. Fill out as much information on the application as you like, it doesn’t have to be entirely accurate or at all realistic. At some chains the cards could lead to savings of up to 40%. Trial memberships for fitness clubs can also be a great rest day activity but you’ll have to play the part of a being new to town and considering a full membership. Do your homework and make your application look authentic and local.
Open fire cooking: 1 whole chicken + garlic + tinfoil + hot hot coals = damn fine eating. Chicken, kabobs, ribs, vegetables, corn in the husk, all turn out well on the fire. Be forewarned though, some trial and error may be required to get cooking times right. Check your meat thoroughly before you eat.
Scavenging*: If you really want to save money then there’s plenty to be found by scouring empty campsites, picnic areas, food courts and dumpsters. Look for unfinished food, firewood, fuel, and other random articles which can make your camping life more comfortable. Grocery stores often throw out large quantities of still edible food.
Creative camping*: a.k.a. stealth camping. Find back roads, parking lots of 24 hour stores, or if you’re feeling like an outlaw then you can always roll in to campgrounds late at night and pack up early to avoid paying your fees.
Be friendly: It’s the golden rule and should be practiced as a matter of principle. This has a bonus side effect that people will often respond to your friendliness with invitations to stay at their home and/or share a meal with them. Newfound friends will often leave behind their excess water and food if they leave an area before you and know you’re staying for a while.
Take up bouldering: the reason for this can be summed up in three words: Crash Pad Couch

Just because you’re living on the road doesn’t mean you have to live like a college student. Be the envy of other climbers and travelers with your remarkable road savvy and shortcuts to comfortable living.