How Not To Suck At Your First Half Marathon

Attention Search Engine visitors! This article is an account of my mis-adventures at the Big Sur half marathon and was written with tongue firmly planted in cheek. It’s less of an account of how to succeed at your first half, and more of a story on how you can have a little fun at the same time. It’s probably not what you were looking for, but why not give it a read?

I was recently part of the support crew for a group of runners who traveled to California to enter the Big Sur half marathon, and in my position as a non-runner I was able to glean a few helpful techniques. I have distilled these down to nine simple tips that should leave you feeling calm and raring to go on the start line.

#1 Get lots of sleep in the days leading up to the race.

Entering a race in your hometown is a great way to get into running, but traveling to races in other cities or countries is a great excuse to see a new part of the world. If the race is more than a few hundred kilometres away then it’s probably best to fly. The last thing you want to do is drive 1,700 km through the night from Vancouver to Santa Cruz after having been at work all day. If you decide to spend 20 hours on the road then sleep as early as you can upon arrival. Resist the urge to join the dance party with your drunken race-mates at 11:00 pm with less than 30 hours before you have to wake up on race day.

#2 Eat well.

Your body is a temple, and that temple is only as strong as the materials use to build it. The following is a list of things that should not be used to build a structure of any sort; not even a lean-to in a survival situation.

• anything from McDonalds
• Red Bull
• the Grand Slam breakfast at Denny’s
• a super burrito platter at the taqueria near your rental house
• ice-cream bars

#3 Take it easy.

This is no ordinary training run that you are preparing. You are going to want to maximize your power and speed output, and that means resting your legs. Oh sure, you’re in Santa Cruz and there’s a good swell pushing through, but that doesn’t mean you should go surfing. Walking around town to do a little shopping is not the best idea either, but it’s not as bad as sitting in the car for another thirty minutes each way to hit the outlet malls just because your dollar is finally above par. The best bet is to lie on your back doing nothing all day before the race. Trust me, your legs will thank you for it when you go sub 90 minutes on race-day.

#4 Prepare ahead of time.

5:00 is too early to be leaving the house on race day. Try to find a hotel in the area. It is better to be cramped and bored in your room than to have to drive 45 minutes to the start line of the race. Since you’re already in town, you should pick up your race package the day before the race. This avoids the problem of having to leave earlier on race-day, having to rush around to find the pick up table, and then having to deal with pinning race numbers and attaching timing chips. These are things that should have been done the night before.

It can also help to do some research on the course before hand. Where are the start and finish lines? What does the elevation profile look like? Is there a soul-crushing hill at mile 11 that you should know about? The last thing you want to be doing is trying to locate directions to the race at 10:00 the night before the race, but you already knew that one, right?

#5 Hydrate

A big problem for Canadians traveling to the United States for races is the strong conversion rate and relatively low-cost, easy to procure alcohol. Alcohol is a tool of the devil, and the devil does not want you to run your best race. $20 bottles of 12 year old Glenlivet, $13 12 packs of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, and $5 bottles of wine are not a good reason to get drunk on your first night in town (see tip #1). It is, however, perfectly acceptable for your support crew to drink as much as they’d like. Runners should stick to water and electrolytes.

#6 Stay with your group on race day.

Some people take their runs less seriously and will opt to run with a few friends in a small group. If this is your strategy then make sure your group is together at the start line. You don’t want to have to be yelling for a lost friend just moments before the race begins. The only exception is if you happen to have your names marked in large letters on the back of your shirt and are willing to rely on strangers pointing out your separated friend.

#7 Strangers on the sidelines are experts, listen to them.

A great thing about races is the adrenaline and support that you get from the sideliners cheering you on. Most of their encouragement is well meaning and you should heed their advice. For example, a random stranger shouts that you are on a good 2:40 half marathon pace. You may know that this is a good 40 minutes slower than your usual pace, but this man is probably an elite mathematician, statistician, or marathon magician, so it is wise to re-adjust your goals and accept that you may be coming across the line a full hour slower than you realize. Running is a funny thing, sometimes it’s as though you don’t even notice the time passing and an hour can disappear without notice.

#8 Re-Hydrate after the race.

Some races will provide free beer after the run. Do not under any circumstances accept this beer. They are trying to weaken your resolve and take advantage of your dehydrated and tired brain. Once you consume a cup beer you will be tricked into filling out all sorts of entry forms for raffles, newsletter, magazine subscriptions, and who knows what else. Stay sober, and stay safe. Instead, collect your beer and hand it to the nearest member of your support crew for safe disposal.

#9 Relax, you’re done. Take a break.

The race is over and you have earned a well-deserved rest. You should go home for a shower and a nap. There’s no point in stopping off at REI and Best Buy to check out the deals, or trying to spend the afternoon surfing. Others may try to tempt you into stopping back in at that taqueria with the gut-busting portions and then following it with champagne in the hot tub, but you’re smarter than that and will probably go home to drink water and nap. After all, we’re getting up early tomorrow to go for a run before getting back in the car to drive the 1,700 kilometres back to Vancouver, right?

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